DMM 復帰一発目 (British teacher in Spain)

Yeah, loud and clear. Just a quick heads-up though -- I'm taking this outside, so you might catch some background noise. Apologies in advance.

Yeah, you sound great. Listen, real quick context for the audio -- I'm at a weird stage of life where I do English lessons outdoors. Don't ask.

So if I suddenly look distracted, it's because Tokyo is happening behind me. Roll with it.

Yeah, I'm right by a main road, actually. So you'll probably hear trains rolling past, the occasional ambulance siren -- that kind of stuff. Tokyo gets pretty chaotic.

Honestly, I picked the worst spot on the planet. I'm next to a main road, train tracks above, ambulance route below. People romanticize Tokyo, but at street level it's basically a permanent low-grade alarm clock.

Yeah, Tokyo Station -- just to clarify, the main JR one, not the subway.

Yeah, Tokyo Station itself -- not the metro, the big aboveground one. The red-brick European-looking building. People always assume Japan = subways, but the JR overground network is actually the spine of the city.

Honestly, I'd rather skip the long self-introduction -- nobody really wants to sit through that. But just so you know, it's been a while since I've spoken with a native speaker. The last time I used DMM was back in 2021, so a few years off.

I'm not sure why, but one morning this week I just felt the urge to jump back in. So here I am.

Can we just skip the whole 'tell me about yourself' part? I'd much rather just talk, and you'll figure out who I am along the way. The only useful headline is: it's been four years since I last spoke English with a real person.

2021 was my last DMM lesson. And honestly, I have no clean reason for being back -- I woke up one morning this week and the urge just hit. So here I am, deeply unprepared and weirdly excited.

Honestly, no specific reason. I've been through a lot, but I mean, everyone has their own story going on, right? So I've got mine, with no clean reason behind it.

But here's the thing -- for me, English has always been fun. Just listening to it is like music to my ears, genuinely. I don't even need to speak it -- just having it on in the background is enough.

It's been my thing for years. The problem is, a lot of Japanese people, myself included, really struggle to actually speak it. So I figured, alright, let me give it another shot and try to express myself in English.

It's tough, no doubt, but it's rewarding in the end. It's a long shot, but that's pretty much my motivation. And I'll be honest -- I'm a bit nervous right now because in my day-to-day, I never speak English with anyone.

It's all Japanese. So this is way outside my comfort zone.

Honest answer? I don't have a reason. Or at least not the kind of reason that fits in an interview answer.

The thing is -- I don't actually need English. My job doesn't require it. I'm not moving abroad.

I have no goal you'd recognize. What I do have is this weird relationship with English where listening to it just feels good. Like background music for my brain.

So this whole exercise -- me trying to speak right now -- is sort of me chasing that feeling from the other side. And by the way, the irony isn't lost on me that the country with the most English education hours per capita produces some of the worst speakers. I'm a poster child for that statistic.

But thanks for being patient with me. My only goal right now is to string together a sentence that actually makes sense. That's the bar I'm aiming for today.

Thanks for being patient -- I can hear my own broken English in real time and it's humbling. Just so you know what success looks like for me today: one complete thought, end to end, no spirals. That's the whole win condition.

Yeah, basically no words required. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, I honestly can't decide -- but yeah, I work alone. Just transporting stuff, driving for hours.

No talking necessary. Honestly though, it's a blessing in disguise. I get all this solo time, and I can throw on English podcasts pretty much all day.

So input-wise, I'm covered. But on the speaking side, I haven't done anything in years. So I'm picking it back up now.

You might literally be the first person I've spoken English with in years.

Yeah, my job is solo -- I drive, I deliver, no talking required. Which on paper sounds depressing, but it's actually exactly what I want at this stage of life. It gives me hours of pure input time -- podcasts on loop.

The catch is the speaking muscle just dies from disuse. You're genuinely, no exaggeration, the first English speaker I've had a real conversation with this year. Probably this decade.

That's a lot of pressure on you, sorry.

So, I'm a massive baseball fan. Baseball's a huge deal in Japan -- maybe not so much in your country, but it's everywhere here. And there's a whole bunch of Japanese players in the MLB now, the American big leagues.

So I follow all of that pretty obsessively. You know Shohei Ohtani? You've heard of him, right?

Baseball. I'm one of those obsessive fans. And I know in your country it's basically a non-sport, you guys have cricket and football -- but in Japan it's the closest thing we have to a national religion.

And right now there's a wave of Japanese players in the MLB. Quick check -- has the name Shohei Ohtani made it to Spain yet, or is he still a Japan-only phenomenon over there?

Yeah, he's the biggest Japanese baseball player out there. So I follow a bunch of MLB podcasts -- they're breaking down baseball every single day. Tons of Dodgers content.

The LA Dodgers are probably the strongest team in baseball right now, and a huge chunk of Japan watches them daily, mostly because of Ohtani and a few other Japanese players. So yeah, I'm one of those fans. Baseball podcasts are basically my whole soundtrack.

Oh good -- so he's broken through. Yeah, he plays for the Dodgers now, and basically he turned a quarter of Japan into Dodgers fans overnight. There's a whole sub-economy of MLB podcasts in English, breaking down every pitch, every at-bat.

That's what plays in my ears all day. Which makes my English vocabulary kind of skewed -- I'll know the word for 'slider' but I won't know how to order a coffee.

Wait, Spain? You're calling me from Spain right now? No way.

Wait -- Spain?? You're in Spain right now? That just rewired everything I assumed about this call.

I had you mentally placed in a cozy English flat with rain on the window, and now I have to redo the whole picture.

But originally -- where are you from?

But originally, though -- where's the actual starting point? You don't just wake up in Spain by accident, right?

Yeah, I've never been to England -- not even once. I've been to the States though. But England seems like a really fascinating place to visit, doesn't it?

Funny thing -- I've never set foot in England. The States, yes. Several times.

But England is one of those countries I have an entire image of in my head, fully fabricated from movies and Premier League highlights, and I've never tested any of it against reality.

Nope, never been anywhere close to that far. Just a couple of neighboring Asian countries. To be honest, sightseeing isn't really my thing -- I'm more of a stay-at-home guy on weekends.

But yeah, we're seeing tons of foreigners coming to Japan right now because the yen's been so weak. It's super cheap to visit at the moment. So it's basically the perfect time to come.

Never. Asia, yes -- a few nearby countries -- but Europe is theoretical to me. Honestly, I'm not a traveler.

My ideal weekend is not leaving the apartment. I think a lot of people misread Japan as outgoing because of Tokyo's image, but a lot of us are deeply indoor people. Meanwhile, the country itself is having a moment -- the yen is weak, so foreign tourists are pouring in.

If you've ever even slightly thought about visiting Japan, this is mathematically the right year.

Yeah, it's wild. Japan must be one of the cheapest countries right now. Give me a dollar or a euro and I can actually get a proper meal.

You can fill your stomach for under two bucks.

Ah, Covid stole a Japan trip from you -- that's brutal. You should reschedule it though. The math right now is wild: hand me one euro and I can put a real meal in front of you.

Not a snack -- a sit-down meal. Two euros and you're full. Europe right now sounds like the opposite.

Yeah, so it's no wonder foreigners are flocking here. And the food is genuinely great, no question about it.

And it's not even just cheap -- the food itself is genuinely great across the board. Even random places nobody recommends are usually solid. That's the part that doesn't translate in travel videos.

Yeah, you see tons of Western tourists coming over now, and they're really enjoying themselves. I can't always tell if they're European or American, but there are plenty of non-English speakers too, probably from Europe -- and they all seem to be having a great time. I work in a touristy area -- Asakusa in Tokyo -- so I see foreigners every single day.

My workplace is basically surrounded by tourists at this point. It's totally normal now. You probably already know this, but Japan's famous for its convenience stores -- konbini, we call them.

The food in them is genuinely amazing. And these days, the konbini are mostly run by foreign workers, coming from places like Thailand or Vietnam. So you've got foreigners running the konbini and foreigners shopping at them.

At this point, the whole country is being kept afloat by foreigners. We might literally be on the brink of extinction.

Yeah, the demographic shift is wild to watch in real time. I work near Asakusa -- one of the most touristy parts of Tokyo -- so my baseline visual is constantly half-foreign now. And here's the kicker: our convenience stores -- konbini -- which are kind of a national icon, the food is famously good.

But behind the counter now? Almost all foreign workers. Vietnamese, Thai, Nepalese.

So you've got foreign staff serving foreign customers, in a Japanese institution. The actual Japanese people? Increasingly missing from the scene.

There's a real argument we're slowly becoming guests in our own country.

Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar with London. I'm not totally sure what's going on in your country right now, but yeah -- it's definitely happening in all the major countries. Japan, America, England -- for sure.

There's almost a soft invasion going on, in a sense. I don't mean that in a negative way, but immigration is a real thing right now, isn't it?

Right, London is the textbook example. So you've already seen the movie I'm describing. It's interesting that it's happening simultaneously in every developed country -- Japan, US, UK -- like there's a global force underneath.

Not making a political point, just observing the pattern. Immigration is one of those topics where you're not allowed to have nuance anymore, which I think is part of why it gets weird.

Yeah. So you're in Spain right now -- which region are you in?

That's wild -- Chinese-run fish and chip shops? That's almost a postcard image of how mixed it's gotten. Anyway, you said Spain -- which part though?

Spain is basically five countries pretending to be one.

Andalusia -- oh, I've heard of it. Pretty touristy down there, right?

Andalusia, ah okay -- that's the part of Spain that even Japanese people have heard of. Flamenco, Moorish architecture, that whole image. So you're not in the wine country, you're not in the Catalan part, you're in the part everyone pictures when they think 'Spain.

'

So what's your story? How did you end up living in Spain?

So actually -- what's the backstory here? Brit, Andalusia, English teacher. There's gotta be a chapter you're not telling me.

Was it a relationship, was it a job, was it a hangover decision?

Oh nice, so you're fluent in Spanish then?

Wait, so Spanish-speaking family AND school in Spain? That's basically a cheat code. So you're fully bilingual -- like dream-in-Spanish bilingual, or rolling-Rs-properly bilingual?

Yeah totally -- every day is a learning experience, right?

Yeah -- the thing about being fluent in two languages is people assume you've 'finished,' but you're saying it's still active learning, even after decades. That's interesting because most learners assume there's a finish line.

Yeah, totally. But to circle back to me -- I'm here speaking English right now, and honestly, I'm catching about 90% of what you're saying. The speaking isn't that bad either.

But for some reason, a lot of Japanese people are really hung up on being perfect. You see Japanese students completely freeze up when they try to speak. It's like this obsessive mindset around English.

I'd love to hear your take on Japanese learners.

Okay but pulling it back to me, because I'm the one paying for this lesson -- noticed I'm catching almost all of what you say, and the speaking isn't disastrous either. So I'm starting to think the real Japanese problem isn't ability, it's this collective obsession with being perfect before opening your mouth. I see it in everyone around me.

From the teacher chair, you've watched thousands of Japanese learners freeze -- what's your actual diagnosis? Why specifically Japanese?

Yeah, Japanese people are really self-conscious about English -- almost painfully so. I used to be one of them, honestly. But at some point I just gave up on that -- decided to stay dumb and stop caring.

And now I'm completely fine making mistakes. I think it really depends on what you're going for, though. If you're aiming for an exam, then yeah, being careful with grammar makes total sense.

But me? I'm here just to talk. To get my point across in English.

And by that measure, I think I'm pretty much already there.

Yeah, totally -- self-conscious is the polite word, paralyzed is the truer one. I used to be exhibit A. The breakthrough for me was deciding to give up on perfection entirely.

Genuinely deciding I'd rather sound dumb than say nothing. And it cracked something open. I think Japan needs to separate two different goals: the exam track is one game, but conversation is a completely different game.

The mistake is using exam tools to play the conversation game. I'm here for game two only.

Yeah, it's really not productive. I think most Japanese people are way too focused on perfecting English -- grammar, pronunciation, all of it. And underneath it, they're terrified of peer pressure.

You grow up inside this Japanese English education system, which is honestly awful. People come out of it pretty broken -- I'm one of the casualties, growing up starting from 'This is a pen' and going essentially nowhere from there. So Japan really needs to approach English from a completely different angle.

But anyway, here I am, just trying to talk. And honestly, I'm surprised -- my English isn't as rusty as I thought. Wow, I can actually do this.

Thank you, really, thank you so much.

Right -- and underneath the perfectionism is peer pressure, which is the real engine. The fear isn't of being wrong, it's of being seen being wrong, specifically by other Japanese people. Our education system trained us into that, starting from 'This is a pen' at age 12, and then going basically nowhere for the next decade.

The whole national approach needs a rewrite. But here's the thing happening to me right now -- I came into this call braced for a disaster, and somehow my English is actually working. That's a genuinely surprising data point about my own brain.

You unblocked something just by not pitying me. Thank you.

Yeah, conversation-wise I'm doing okay, I'd say.

Yeah -- conversationally I'm functional, at least. The problem is I can't always tell from the inside whether I sound okay or like a confused tourist. Good to get that read from someone outside my own head.

Yeah, and honestly I think listening is the key. Because if you can't catch what the other person is saying, the conversation just dies. And the great thing is, you're not dumbing it down for me right now, which is genuinely helpful.

I really appreciate that you're not speaking to me like --

And honestly, listening is the actual master skill, not speaking. If you can't catch what the other person is saying, the rest is impossible. The thing I appreciate about you specifically is you didn't switch into slow-baby-teacher mode.

Most teachers do, and it ruins it. Even with good intentions, when they slow down, they're effectively saying 'I don't trust you,' and then you can't ever calibrate to real English. So thanks for not doing that --

Unnatural, exactly -- yeah, I really hate that. Oh wait, time's already up? That went by so fast.

I had a great time, seriously, thank you so much. I'll definitely book you again -- probably with the camera on next time. Thanks again.

Exactly -- and unnatural English is the thing that ruins more Japanese learners than anything else. -- Wait, hold on, is the timer already up? That went insanely fast.

Look, I'll be straight: I came into this nervous and broken, and I'm leaving energized. I'm absolutely re-booking you. Next time on Wi-Fi, with the camera on, so we can actually look at each other like two humans.

Thank you, genuinely.

Alright, bye for now. Sayonara, cheers. Have a great night.

Alright -- bye, take care, sayonara, cheers, hope Andalusia treats you well tonight.